you are officially having a better day than I.

So, I work for myself now - so I don't have bosses to sh!t on me anymore, which is nice I guess. But that doesn't necessarily stop the sh!t from falling....literally. I'm feeling a little groggy this morning, so I decided to grab some coffee from this cute little cafe 2 blocks up from my place just a few minutes ago. Didn't have any cash, so I had to stop at the cash machine on the corner. So, as I'm stepping back from the cash machine stuffing my money into my wallet - it struck. I'm not gonna call it a bird, it was probably a falcon, or maybe small pterodactyl, possibly even a secret spy poo transport airplane. Dude, I got bombed. This thing drop a massive gooey load right on me - direct hit on my shoulder, some splashing up on my neck, all the way to my face, ricocheting onto my shorts, all the way down on to my flip flop and bare right foot - oozing warmly in between my toes, even inside my wallet!!!! Seriously!! I just stood there laughing. This avian terrorist almost assuredly went to taco bell last night and got a double order of the loose stool special. It was that much. I looked around and I don't think anyone at the bagel shop noticed, but I almost wish someone had. I would have made everyone else have a better day to know that I AM the guy who was pooed on worse than anyone has ever been pooed on before. Thankfully I was only a block from home so I could get back here and burn my clothes, shower, and jump on the computer to write you all about it.